Lincoln's Feats

Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope. He also freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation.

Lincoln's Birth

Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest President. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Lincoln said, "In onion there is strength."

The Constitution of the United States

Soon the Constitution of the United State was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the Constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.

George Washington

George Washington married Martha Curtis and in due time became the Father of Our Country. His farewell address was Mount Vernon.

Declaration of Independence

Delegates from the original thirteen states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin invested in electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

Revolution

One of the reasons for the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. During the war, the Red Coats and Paul Revere were throwing balls over some walls. The dogs were barking and peacocks crowing. Finally the colonists won the war and no longer had to pay for taxis.

Pilgrims

Later, the pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called Pilgrim's Progress. The winter of 162 was a hard on for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for this.

Shakespeare's Plays

In Shakespeare's plays, Hamlet rations out his situation by relieving himself in a long soliloquy. His mind is filled with the filth of incesmous sheets which he pours over every time he sees his mother. In another play, Lady MacBeth tries to convince MacBeth to kill the King by attacking his manhood. The clown in As You Like It is named Touchdown, and Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.

Shakespeare

The greatest write of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. Shakespeare was born in , year supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies and hysterectomies, all in Islamic parameter.

Inventions and Discoveries

It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented the removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.

Queen Elizabeth

Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen". As a queen, she was a success. When Elizabeth exposed herself before he troops, they all shouted "Hurrah". Then her navy went out and defeated the Spanish Armadillo.

Early England

The government of England was a limited mockery. From the womb of Henry VIII Protestantism was born. He found walking around the house difficult because he had an abbess on his knee.