Marriage Counseling

Ok, the title may be a bit misleading, but I didn't think of another way to say it. No, I am not a marriage counselor, but in my role as a minister as well as many years as a manager at EDS, I have been a good listener of people with marriage problems. I found a common thread through many of the stories.

As in the recent past, I turn to Dr. Scott Peck to put my experiences into words.

"I assume that Lily (his wife) should somehow be there for me whenever I wanted her, and not be there whenever her presence was inconvenient. Furthermore, I assume that she should somehow not only know which time was which but also know it wihtout my having to tell her. It was perhaps another decade before I was able to fully cure myself of that particular insanity."

Wives seem to know this, but don't always know how to deal with it. They maybe don't even know how to express it. Husbands seem to most often be completely unaware of it. I was. As Dr. Peck's experience notes, it can take years or decades to overcome this "insanity". We must work at it. And, when husbands and wives recognized these sorts of behavior, and work at them, the rewards can be incredible.